Being Called a Fat Bitch

Last week two strangers, both males, made unsolicited comments about my body. The first occurred when I was walking to my car after work and a construction worker yelled out, “hey momma, looking good.”

Thanks, your opinion is really important to me. 

Another night I upset one of my charming neighbors and he yelled “you fat bitch!” at me.

I suspect that this lovely man was really drunk, which is pretty incredible for several reasons:

  • He was operating a motor vehicle
  • It was 7pm on a week night
  • He had trouble pulling into the parking garage at our apartment complex
  • When I saw him two days later he didn’t seem to remember me at all

This a-hole completely threw me off guard because you never really expect a 40+ year old man who is likely well educated with a good job to use such an immature insult.

This guy is not really my neighbor, he’s just some random guy that lives in my apartment complex, so I actually don’t know anything about him. I don’t know how well educated he is, but I do know that you have to meet certain financial criteria to live here (and that he drives an expensive car) so he probably holds a decent job.

…Money can’t buy class!

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When this guy called me a fat bitch I was on my way home from a five mile run. Not bad for a fat bitch.

There was a time in my life when his comment would have sent me into a spiral. I would have starved myself, or binged and purged or cried myself to sleep … maybe even all of the above. I’m not that person anymore though. My skin is thicker and I know his insult was a reflection of his own personal issues rather than a reflection of mine.

Instead of feeling badly for myself, I just want to challenge him to a run off! I’m pretty sure this fat bitch has more endurance than his drunk ass.

Screen Shot 2015-06-22 at 9.37.08 PM

^ Not certain people, just one certain person.

I wasn’t sure I was going to blog about this incident because I did feel a certain amount of shame in being called fat. As someone who struggled with body image issues for so long it’s not an easy thing for me to just shrug off. A part of me just wanted to sweep the incident under the rug and pretend it never happened, but holding it in didn’t feel right either.

Screen Shot 2015-06-22 at 10.17.14 PM

I am lucky to have this blog as a place to share my honest feelings. Somedays I talk about running, some days I talk about my job and some days I have to talk about things that would otherwise eat away at me if I held them in.

Going through this incident made me realize just how lucky I am to be a runner. Running has given me self-confidence and that is such an important instrument to have in your toolbox for dealing with life.

Now that I’ve written about the incident it’s been transferred from my mind to “paper” and I can just let it go. Thanks for listening!

23 comments

  1. Lisa @ Running Out Of Wine

    I’m so glad you shared this story…but what a jerk!! I think we all have certain insecurities and when someone points them out it can be tough to handle. I try to remind myself that it’s their issue, not mine. Not only was that guy probably drunk but he was also probably dealing with his own issues. I’m glad that you were able to process this and not let it get to you:)
    Lisa @ Running Out Of Wine recently posted…Weekly Workout Recap And Thoughts about the “Long Run”My Profile

  2. Susan

    Kristina, just remember “people are idiots”. I am so sorry he said that to you. It feels like his comment is all about you but really, this guy has issues. Clearly. Hold your head up high!

  3. Sam @ See Sam Run

    I’m so sorry you had to go through that but you are so right. He’s a complete moron and had no right saying that! He probably let out his own issues on you. It’s good you are able to write about it and hopefully move on. Don’t let the haters get you down!
    Sam @ See Sam Run recently posted…Baltimore Marathon Training: Week 1 (6/15 – 6/21/15)My Profile

  4. Kerry

    That is really horrible. I’m sorry that someone did that to you. He sounds like a real turd and I imagine he is dealing with his own stuff (which isn’t an excuse to treat you like that). Unfortunately, I think every woman runner occasionally deals with unsolicited comments and insults. I wish I were a bird that could poop on his head too.
    Kerry recently posted…Chicago Marathon Training: Week 1My Profile

  5. cheryl

    That guy obviously is battling some personal issues. I would be furious too, but truly, this is his problem. It is scary too, that he was driving–
    You are a strong woman, and handled it with class…Run on!
    cheryl recently posted…Indianapolis training: week 1My Profile

  6. Jennifer @ Running on Lentils

    You’re completely right that comments like have everything to do with the people making them and nothing to do with the people they’re directed to. This past winter I had to change my running route to be on main city streets since they were the only places salted and free of snow. Several times I had men roll down their windows as they were driving past to make very lewd comments. In one case, it was in the middle of a busy intersection with many people around who heard, and I was extremely embarrassed. That made me wonder: What kind of person is driving at 5:30 a.m. and rolls down the window to make lewd comments to a runner? The answer was very clear: A person with lots of issues. I’m sure the same is true with your neighbor. Oh, and I love the bird quote–ha ha!
    Jennifer @ Running on Lentils recently posted…Race Recap: Man Up Father’s Day 5K 2015My Profile

  7. Hanna @ TheMillennialNextDoor

    Ugh, I’m sorry you had to deal with this. I’m even sorrier that it’s 2015 and this is still something women (and men) in our society have to deal with. You are right though that when people say things like that, it’s about them, not you….but it still stings. I’d love to say that every time someone has made a rude comment to me that I just brush it off and don’t care, but even though I know that it’s their problem, I still seethe about it. It’s hard not to.

    Good for you in taking the high road and deciding you’re not going to let creeps salt your mellow. I love that you say you wanted to challenge him to a run off, LOL. It’s true though – as some wise internet commenter once said, “Fitness wins every argument!”
    Hanna @ TheMillennialNextDoor recently posted…Grandma’s MARATHON Race Recap!!My Profile

  8. sam @ grapefruit & granola

    Oh wow, that is awful!!! I hope he gets a DUI.
    sam @ grapefruit & granola recently posted…Knee Update: 3 Months Post-OpMy Profile

  9. Karen

    People are so efffed up! I have a group of kids I run past regularly who play basketball and they love to yell about how slow and waddling i am …sigh…
    Don’t let this get to you!! I get it, I get ticked, I work hard, but that crap doesn’t bug me like it used to, they can kiss my @ss.
    You are such a beautiful soul Kristina. Flip him off for me when you see him.
    Karen recently posted…Black Light RunMy Profile

  10. Richard

    Are you freaking serious?!?! The idiocy and ignorance of some people is just ridiculous. I’m terribly sorry you were involved in such an event but you are handling correctly 100%. People lash out because there is something ugly going on in their own lives and they have to try and tear others down. You are a runner that has accomplished so much not to mention a great person that connects with so many people. Pardon my French but f#&* that guy 🙂
    Richard recently posted…Vacation TimeMy Profile

  11. Robin

    Absolutely terrible, but I’m so glad you are not letting this get you down! You go on doing you, and screw anyone else who tries to poison your amazingness!

  12. Annette @ Sweating Through Life

    EW, that guy!! I’m sorry he is so rude. No one should have to worry about being accosted by their neighbors, or anyone else for that matter, just because they are clearly having a bad day. You handled it so well!!!!
    I can relate to the cat call type comments from others when I run around here, but for me, those ones are so much easier to brush off. I remember being at a bar with a group of friends once and a few guys were in the corner laughing and making jokes about our “sizes.” I couldn’t take it so I had to say something to them, not much more than “who do you think you are.” Point is, it’s terrible that we as women, have to worry about experiencing situations like this. It’s time to grow up. Kudos to you for taking the high road and handling it like you did:)
    Annette @ Sweating Through Life recently posted…Finding Cooler Places to RunMy Profile

  13. Maddie @ Dixie Runs

    People are assholes. That’s all there is to it. There is a deeper reason that he feels the need to insult strangers, and he is probably living a very sad, empty life. The fact that you handled it the way you did shows what a beautiful person you are, inside AND out. Karma sucks and it is going to bite him in the butt one of these days!!
    Maddie @ Dixie Runs recently posted…Weekend Recap (a little late) & Wireless HeadphonesMy Profile

  14. Helly

    Oh heeelllll no….Where is he? Lemme at him!

    You are so ridiculously awesome to have handled it the way you did. I would’ve unfortunately have stooped to his level and swore at him back 🙁

    I absolutely admire you so much from having gotten to know you through your blog. It has nothing to do with weight, appearance, or anything–I haven’t even met you in real life!–but from your writing and the stories you share, people can tell that you’re amazing. And that’s what keeps us coming back <3
    Helly recently posted…Chicago Marathon Training: Week 2 RecapMy Profile

  15. Heather @ girlgoesrunning

    Wow, I’m not usually a name-calling person but that guy is truly an idiot! I can’t believe someone actually said that to you. I would probably have went home and cried because I am such a sensitive person I’m really glad you handled it so well. sometimes I wonder how people can be so rude!
    Heather @ girlgoesrunning recently posted…Johnny Miles 1/2 Marathon 2015!My Profile

  16. Megan @ Meg Go Run

    I really freaking hate that he said that to you. I want to punch him in the face.

    I hate how guys think they can talk to/treat women however they want. I had an experience in San Diego in which a guy working at a store treated me in a way he NEVER would have if I had been a guy. Disgusted, I walked out.

    WHY CAN’T WOMEN JUST LIVE THEIR LIVES WITHOUT BEEN TALKED TO IGNORANTLY BY MEN???
    Megan @ Meg Go Run recently posted…Las VegasMy Profile

  17. Liv @ Healthy Liv

    If it helps, just know that his comment wasn’t really directed at you and you’re neither one of those things 🙂 You were just the unfortunate recipient of his anger/frustrations/drunken bad temper. You’re wonderful, Kristina!
    Liv @ Healthy Liv recently posted…Thrifting, Food Prep, & Father’s Day WeekendMy Profile

  18. Kristin @ A Mom on the Run

    What a jerk, he doesn’t deserve for you to waste another thought on him!

    I don’t understand WHY people think it is okay to comment on women’s bodies. At all. It really makes me angry.

    Big hugs to you and I’m so proud of you for handling it amazingly! That says a lot about your character 🙂
    Kristin @ A Mom on the Run recently posted…Review & Giveaway: journalMENUMy Profile

  19. Jessica @ VEGGIE RUNNING MOMMA

    What you said is sooo true. What other’s say is a reflection of THEM not YOU. Glad you are in a much better place now, because people like that really don’t deserve to affect your day. He doesn’t deserve to affect you at all.!
    Maybe someday he’ll grow up.. probably not. ha
    Have a great day girl 🙂
    Jessica @ VEGGIE RUNNING MOMMA recently posted…Training Plans.!! and so annoying.! aughMy Profile

  20. Ali @ Hit the Ground Running

    I read this the other day and was too angry to write a coherent reply!!! That men so often have the audacity to THINK these things, let alone say them, is disgusting. You, my friend, have taken a higher road than I would have.

    You are so strong to let this roll off your back. And you’re absolutely right: you have run a freaking marathon!!! Marathoners are NOT fat bitches!!

    It kills me, too, because this guy spoke without knowing you at all. Your history, your journey, what makes you YOU…How dare he try to reduce you to an insult based on what his drunk ass sees?!

    But like I said, you KNOW who you are and what you’re worth. F that guy.
    Ali @ Hit the Ground Running recently posted…Last Week’s WorkoutsMy Profile

  21. Lauren @ The Foodie Runner

    Can we all be birds together and fly over him in a giant flock?? As someone who has watched you work so hard and improve your running by leaps and bounds over the past year and a half this makes me so frustrated at that guy! I’m am glad though that running has given you the confidence to know his actions and words say MUCH more about him than they do about you! As my dad says… Just be a duck and let it roll right off your back! 🙂 love ya girl!
    Lauren @ The Foodie Runner recently posted…Sharon Timlin 5K 2015: RecapMy Profile

  22. James @ HalfMarathonJames

    I’m glad you realise he’s the one with insecurities… A run off sounds like a very good idea.. 🙂

  23. Jennifer

    Oh boy people like that make me so angry! You handled yourself so well and glad you didn’t let him get to you.
    Jennifer recently posted…Chicago Marathon Training Week 4 – 6/22-6/28My Profile

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