Last week two strangers, both males, made unsolicited comments about my body. The first occurred when I was walking to my car after work and a construction worker yelled out, “hey momma, looking good.”
Thanks, your opinion is really important to me.
Another night I upset one of my charming neighbors and he yelled “you fat bitch!” at me.
I suspect that this lovely man was really drunk, which is pretty incredible for several reasons:
- He was operating a motor vehicle
- It was 7pm on a week night
- He had trouble pulling into the parking garage at our apartment complex
- When I saw him two days later he didn’t seem to remember me at all
This a-hole completely threw me off guard because you never really expect a 40+ year old man who is likely well educated with a good job to use such an immature insult.
This guy is not really my neighbor, he’s just some random guy that lives in my apartment complex, so I actually don’t know anything about him. I don’t know how well educated he is, but I do know that you have to meet certain financial criteria to live here (and that he drives an expensive car) so he probably holds a decent job.
…Money can’t buy class!
When this guy called me a fat bitch I was on my way home from a five mile run. Not bad for a fat bitch.
There was a time in my life when his comment would have sent me into a spiral. I would have starved myself, or binged and purged or cried myself to sleep … maybe even all of the above. I’m not that person anymore though. My skin is thicker and I know his insult was a reflection of his own personal issues rather than a reflection of mine.
Instead of feeling badly for myself, I just want to challenge him to a run off! I’m pretty sure this fat bitch has more endurance than his drunk ass.
^ Not certain people, just one certain person.
I wasn’t sure I was going to blog about this incident because I did feel a certain amount of shame in being called fat. As someone who struggled with body image issues for so long it’s not an easy thing for me to just shrug off. A part of me just wanted to sweep the incident under the rug and pretend it never happened, but holding it in didn’t feel right either.
I am lucky to have this blog as a place to share my honest feelings. Somedays I talk about running, some days I talk about my job and some days I have to talk about things that would otherwise eat away at me if I held them in.
Going through this incident made me realize just how lucky I am to be a runner. Running has given me self-confidence and that is such an important instrument to have in your toolbox for dealing with life.
Now that I’ve written about the incident it’s been transferred from my mind to “paper” and I can just let it go. Thanks for listening!