Bulimia Recovery Diary: Eating Out & Control Issues

Hey there! So today I’m sharing the second video in my eating disorder recovery series. In this one I talk about control issues and how I’ve shifted my thinking so that one bad meal doesn’t lead to a binge anymore.

I also talk about fear of weight loss and why I subconsciously self-sabotaged my weight loss journey several times in the past. This one gets personal.

I’ve recently been watching this vlogger, Peter Monn, who is a recovered alcoholic. He really inspired me to do this series.

I had sort of been thinking about doing a weight loss series for a while, but I told Adam I didn’t think I should because I’m not passionate (?) about it. Meaning I don’t ever want to sit down to blog or vlog about weight loss in general. I just don’t care about it as a concept enough.

Then when I found Peter’s vlogs a couple weeks ago I came to realize I really I loved how he would sit and talk about his recovery a couple nights a week. I thought I could do that. Watching his vlogs has been so helpful to me because I often feel uncomfortable listening to people’s ED recovery stories even though I am inspired by their successes. However, hearing Peter talk about his struggles and successes overcoming alcoholism is so closely aligned with eating disorder recovery in so many ways that it’s a perfect fit for me. I get the inspiration I want without the uncomfortableness.

I feel like in the running community a lot of people have struggled with disordered eating and many have overcome it, but no one dives into the details. I didn’t know I wanted the details or how they would be helpful until I started listening to Peter talk about his alcoholism. Then the lightbulb moment came for me that I could share my story for anyone out there who would find comfort in hearing it. This allows me to do my weight loss series but to put a spin on it that is something I can feel good about and connected to.

Plus, as uncomfortable as it is, I want to talk about mental health more. I’m going to say an annoying phrase right now but *as a society* we should talk about it more. The fact that I CAN talk about it means I’ve personally come a long way because when I first told Adam about my issues I couldn’t even say the words out loud I had to write them out. Now I can get on camera and talk about them to the world and that’s something. The more I talk about it the easier it is.

Anyway, hope you like the video!

PS: And don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel for free (just click here) to see videos before I post them here!

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2 Comments

  1. Jane
    September 13, 2018 / 6:55 pm

    I came to your blog to read about running and wasn’t really interested in the weight loss side of things but I have to say that the two videos you’ve done on this topic are your best. You give some really good information in a really relatable way and I think it’ll probably help a lot of people. Good work!

    • Kristina
      Author
      September 16, 2018 / 6:56 pm

      Hey Jane, thanks so much for the feedback on the videos. I really appreciate it!