Hey there! So today I’m sharing the second video in my eating disorder recovery series. In this one I talk about control issues and how I’ve shifted my thinking so that one bad meal doesn’t lead to a binge anymore.
I also talk about fear of weight loss and why I subconsciously self-sabotaged my weight loss journey several times in the past. This one gets personal.
I’ve recently been watching this vlogger, Peter Monn, who is a recovered alcoholic. He really inspired me to do this series.
I had sort of been thinking about doing a weight loss series for a while, but I told Adam I didn’t think I should because I’m not passionate (?) about it. Meaning I don’t ever want to sit down to blog or vlog about weight loss in general. I just don’t care about it as a concept enough.
Then when I found Peter’s vlogs a couple weeks ago I came to realize I really I loved how he would sit and talk about his recovery a couple nights a week. I thought I could do that. Watching his vlogs has been so helpful to me because I often feel uncomfortable listening to people’s ED recovery stories even though I am inspired by their successes. However, hearing Peter talk about his struggles and successes overcoming alcoholism is so closely aligned with eating disorder recovery in so many ways that it’s a perfect fit for me. I get the inspiration I want without the uncomfortableness.
I feel like in the running community a lot of people have struggled with disordered eating and many have overcome it, but no one dives into the details. I didn’t know I wanted the details or how they would be helpful until I started listening to Peter talk about his alcoholism. Then the lightbulb moment came for me that I could share my story for anyone out there who would find comfort in hearing it. This allows me to do my weight loss series but to put a spin on it that is something I can feel good about and connected to.
Plus, as uncomfortable as it is, I want to talk about mental health more. I’m going to say an annoying phrase right now but *as a society* we should talk about it more. The fact that I CAN talk about it means I’ve personally come a long way because when I first told Adam about my issues I couldn’t even say the words out loud I had to write them out. Now I can get on camera and talk about them to the world and that’s something. The more I talk about it the easier it is.
Anyway, hope you like the video!
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