Sh!t Kristina Says: A Short Collection of Interesting Quotes
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!☘ To celebrate I will be seeing my favorite Irishman wrestle tonight!
In the wise words of Uncle Jesse, have mercy.
Instead of a normal “day in the life/what’s going on with my running” post I thought I’d share some Kristinaisms aka shit Kristina says. The other day Adam said he would buy a book of my quotes so I thought I better start collecting them all in one place!
Without further ado….
“Stop, I’ll kill you.”
This is said when Adam is tickling me and/or he’s just saying things that make me laugh until I can’t breathe.
This might be a slightly aggressive response!
“We have a gun.” (note: we don’t actually have a gun)
One time when Adam was on a work trip I came home to a dark house and something looked out of place. Assuming that a burglar was in the apartment, I grabbed Cecil and then loudly said “Who is here? I have a gun.”
I don’t actually have a gun, and I realize in hindsight this was a very stupid thing to say. If there was a burglar and he had a gun, he probably would have shot me.
I told Adam this story and now every time we come home at night to a dark apartment he opens the door and announces “We have a gun!”
“You’ll feel better if you rub my back.”
Obviously, this one is said every single night. I ask Adam, “how are you feeling?” and no matter what his response is, I say “you’ll feel better if you rub my back.”
I think it’s true.
“You’re beautiful and smart and I’m proud of you.”
I say this to Cecil every morning before I leave for work because I want him to have high self-esteem.
I know you’re thinking, “he has NO IDEA what you’re saying.” But actually, Cecil is a really confident cat, so… just sayin!
“Damn damn damn.”
This is what I say whenever something goes wrong. It’s obviously not enough to say “damn” just once.
“I’m over it.”
My standard response to just about everything. I’m so blasé and cool.
“It makes me sad when people are idiots. “
I say this when someone I once thought highly of turns out to be… an idiot.
“____ needs to get the F*** out of my life.”
I curse a lot. I know it’s not a great habit, but I do it. Whenever something really annoys me I announce to the word that it needs to get the F out of my life.
Lightbulb went out? That lightbulb needs to get the F out of my life. Treadmill run is boring? That treadmill needs to get the F out of my life. Milk went sour? That milk needs to get the F out of my life.
It’s honestly a bit dramatic, but in the moment that I’m annoyed it feels appropriate!
“I don’t rush.”
I said this to Adam one time when he was telling me to hurry up and I’ll never hear the end of it. The truth is, I hardly ever really rush because I am a planner! I like to plan ahead and do things before they need to be done so that I don’t have to rush!
Well, looking over this post it would seem that I’m a really negative person! Thank you to everyone who puts up with me on a daily basis because it looks like I’m always saying the most annoying, depressing things with the exception of Cecil who receives compliments all the time.
And there you have it, a short list of Kristinaisms!
What are some of your favorite/common sayings?!