What You Don’t See on Social or My Blog
A few weeks ago I told you I told you my motto for this year is “I am not afraid.”
In keeping with that theme I am going to be making some changes here on the blog that I think is for the best.
As a blogger I take A LOT of pictures of myself. More than any person should. Yet, when I looked through my archive of photos from 2016 I found less than five full body photos. Beyond that 90% of the photos of myself are taken from my “best angles” aka angles that make me look thinner than I really am.
This isn’t crazy different than the way I’ve behaved most of my life. There is one photo of me from my 21st birthday and I’m hiding my body behind a balloon because I was so uncomfortable with having my picture taken even though I only weighed 105lbs. I was sick and that part of my life is over now, thank God. What hasn’t changed is my aversion to full body photos.
This year I am going to make a much more conscious effort to share the good, the bad and the ugly. I’m going to do a lot more vlogging and more full body photos. I know I find it helpful to see people who look like me working out — which is mostly just to say women who aren’t professional lifters, professional runners or Instagram models.
I think this change will be good for me and good for the community. I definitely encourage everyone to join me in this.
I’m also proud to share that I have started working with a nutritionist again, and this time I am hopeful that I’ll be able to make smart nutritional changes that will help me feel my best.
I’ve worked with a nutritionist before but both times I stopped pre-maturely. Conceptually I know what healthy eating looks like so I have always felt that working with a nutritionist is a waste of time. Now I know that the support of a nutritionist is something I need to get over the hump that my history with disordered eating as created for me.
My issue is that I get scared of healthy eating. I worry that I am always one step away from going down the rabbit hole again, and that is the scariest thing in the world. I don’t want to do that. If you’ve ever been there you know how horrible, exhausting and clinically depressing it is to constantly hate yourself. On my own I’ve just been too scared to go down the path.
The problem is you simply cannot outrun a bad diet, so it’s time to make some changes.
As daily readers know I went back to therapy last year and for the majority of the year I saw a psychologist bi-weekly. Last year really helped me deal with my disorder in a way that I had not before. I realized just because I hadn’t b/p’d in a long time didn’t mean that I was totally recovered. With help I worked through so many issues last year. I didn’t blog about it a lot because it’s just such a personal thing. Even if I talked about it more I’m not sure it would have helped anyone else.
Anyway, I feel like I made a lot of progress last year and I am feeling more comfortable in my own skin and have a clearer picture of what I want for myself this year.
I had a full blood panel done by my doctor and all of my numbers are in the healthy range, which I attribute to my commitment to working out. Now it’s time for my nutrition to fall in line with my fitness so that I can really feel the very best. This year I will not be afraid of anything.
SO BE PREPARED
Be prepared to see more photos of me lol.
There will still be photos of me working my angles. Let’s be real, we all have a tendency to do this. But there will also be more candid photos. There will be a lot less “social media kristina” and a lot more “real kristina.” I hope that’s okay.
2017 is going to be a good year, I can feel it.
One of Adam’s 2017 goals is to be more involved in the blog which I am really excited about because I have asked him to be a part of it for a long time! We filmed a vlog over the weekend which I am excited to share on Wednesday.
So this year you’ll see a lot more of me and also a lot more of him. I hope that will add a new dynamic to the blog and vlogs that everyone will like. Adam is funny, smart and really good at lifting heavy things! 🙂
What’s your big Personal Growth goal for this year?