Why I Changed Therapists Last Year

Hey guys, sorry I missed a post yesterday but this week got off to a busy start for me. Not a bad thing at all but I haven’t had a lot of down time to write.

In my last post I mentioned that I switched therapists last year. I saw a psychologist for the first time, against my will, when I was about 15 years old. I only went once and then I didn’t see a psychologist again until 2011. That time it was because Adam gave me an ultimatum. Truthfully, I needed the push to get help but I was also ready to go and wanted to receive help for my eating disorder(s).

I saw my therapist for about a year then I stopped going because I found running and I felt really good and happy. However, as anyone who has dealt with an eating disorder, depression, anxiety, or any other mental illness knows, you learn tools to cope but there’s not really a cure like there is for the flu or an upset stomach. Because of that I’ve gone back to therapy multiple times over the last few years.

This last psychologist I was working with I had been seeing weekly for almost two years. She was nice, I felt comfortable talking to her and thought our sessions were helpful. Until one night a few months ago I had a big (gigantic) breakdown. The kind where you’re crying so hard you can barely breathe but at the same time feel like you’re outside yourself looking in.

Once I calmed down I realized I was comfortable with my therapist but couldn’t say with certainty that I felt like I was making any progress with the issues I still face on a regular basis.

Don’t worry, I don’t b/p or do any dangerous things to myself anymore, I’m very much over that. However, in a lot of my sessions we still talked about that a lot. During and immediately after my breakdown I really wondered why we were still talking about that. I haven’t even had so much as a single desire to b/p in years now but I (still) have other issues like anxiety,

Maybe it was my fault for not guiding the conversations in a different direction, but also maybe that therapist was perfect for helping me at one point in my life and it was time to move on.

I spoke with a couple of other therapists over the phone and eventually found the psychologist that I’m now seeing. She and I talk about a broad range of things I deal with from body image issues to anxiety, situational depression,  and the ways to cope with it all. (I didn’t even know what situation depression was.) I feel like this more well-rounded approach is helpful to me.

The factors that caused me to experience a lot of anxiety and the onset of situational depression are no longer factors in my life so that probably helps too.

I feel like I’m getting to a good place right now.

I guess before I sign off what I want to say is that even though I was dealing with a lot emotionally that isn’t to say that I wasn’t happy sometimes. I was pretty much always happy when I was home with Adam and Cecil, watching TV and just relaxing together at night. They are my rocks and I love them so much.

I almost didn’t want to talk about depression in this post because I didn’t want anyone to think I was faking my online personality last year. I wasn’t… although come to think of it, I do think I complained on the blog a lot last year. Adam said I complained a lot in real life too and was very quick to snap and that he often felt like he was walking on eggshells around me. I am sorry about that.

I think I’m complaining less these days? I’m looking forward to a much more uplifting 2018 and feeling good about it. Happy new year (again)!

Disclaimer: If you are currently dealing with an eating disorder, depression, etc. please note that while I wish I could help I am not equipped to give advice.  I highly encourage you to seek professional help. If you email me for recovery advice I won’t be able to reply. However, if you have any questions about therapy I am happy to answer those questions with information based on my own experiences. 



  1. January 11, 2018 / 9:15 am

    I’m so glad you’ve found a therapist who is more helpful to you now. I think you’re right that sometimes certain therapists aren’t necessarily doing a bad job but maybe aren’t right for us anymore. I’m sure any good therapist would also agree.

    I didn’t really think you were super complain-y last year, at least, nothing stood out to me anyway! There is a natural tendency to filter ourselves a bit with what we choose to put in writing or even in conversation – it’s just part of socializing, I think. I don’t think it’s faking. I know you have been going through a rough time not being able to run but it always seemed to me you were honest about everything you were feeling. It’s a shitty thing and we all get that!


  2. January 11, 2018 / 11:47 am

    I don’t think you were overly complain-y last year at all. And I also think it’s okay that we only share what we want to on our blogs. If you want to share happy stuff then that’s what you do! It’s not fake. There’s a lot I don’t share on my blog but that doesn’t mean I’m fake or putting on a persona.

  3. January 11, 2018 / 12:41 pm

    I never saw your complaining as over the top. It was more like honestly admitting your frustrations about your current running situation. I really can’t imagine what it would be like to have the year you just had: injury, waiting, diagnosis, waiting, surgery, healing problems, more waiting…and so on. Coupled with changing jobs, seeing a nutritionist but not seeing results, I can see how that put you in a negative mindset and think some venting and complaining was to be expected.

    I’m glad you are getting to a better place now and that you found a new therapist who is a better fit for your life right now.

  4. January 12, 2018 / 5:26 pm

    Thanks for sharing this very personal info. I’m glad you found someone who is a fit for you and has been helping you out.

  5. Susan
    January 13, 2018 / 6:34 pm

    Thank you for such an honest post! I think we all deal with issues so you are not alone. Finding the right fit with a therapist is so key and I am glad you sought out someone better suited to your needs. We all love you!!

  6. January 14, 2018 / 9:43 pm

    I’m so glad you found a therapist that is a better fit for you now at this point in your life. I also appreciate you talking about mental health. People don’t talk about it enough even though it effects almost everyone. I saw a therapist when I was thinking about getting divorced (at the suggestion of our marriage counselor) and she was able to help me realize in just 3 sessions why I was settling for a poor marriage. I have noticed a feel more anxious since leaving my full-time job- I’ve thought about going back!